Depression and Keeping...a work in progress!

Hello friends,

I will be full and frank, I am under treatment for depression, with further tests to be made to ensure it isn't something more serious...

...physical exercise is apparently a good thing for depression, but I've not won a league game yet...irrespective of good or bad individual performances.

Has anyone else gone through a season as a keeper with same/similar conditions? After a 7-2 defeat I almost refused to speak to anyone...had I not had to drive 3 other players the 150 miles home...I'd have buggered off ASAP.

Howdy....thanks for your response!

I know none of you will be able to advise as best with respect to the actual condition I have, whatever it actually is...

....what I want to know is, if any players have suffered with issues out of hockey. and how did they deal with them. I can't quit the hockey! No way!

Hey Murph, sorry to hear about what is going on. I too was diagnosed with depression years ago and it is not something that is easy to deal with. As you said before, physical activity helps a lot, it really does. If it weren't for hockey, there would be days upon end where I would sit around and do absolutely nothing, sit in bed and just lay there. Keeping active, taking the medication and keeping in regular contact with family and friends is very important to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. While depression can't always be cured, it can be managed and that is the best we can hope for. DO NOT give up the sport! It is way too much fun and beneficial for us!

The fact I am still playing is great..I guess that this is similar to the keepers in a funk thread. My behaviour has changed and after goal number 3 or 4 I almost walked off the pitch!
IThe main reason for noticing changes, started shouting amd swearing at umpires....i never used to even question them unless it was in a really friendly tone of voice.

All the best with the situation fella. Wish there was something I could do to help.

Mate. my heart goes out to you, and im not really sentimental at all. I had a few issues many years ago with a few things going wrong and was in the same position, i was advised to keep up the hockey, but it wasnt to get any kind of winning feeling it was more to keep me socially interacting with people. I went into myself which is very unlike me and tried to keep myself to myself, after a month or so of going to hockey and getting back into it i opened up more with a couple of my closest friends who play aswell and things just seemed to get better for me, with help from friends, family and strange as it sounds complete strangers that i could talk more openly with at first. I hope you keep the hockey up and i hope all goes well for you bud, johnny.

You might be amazed at how much you rely on your friends, even when you dont realise it, and mine were a power of strength when i plucked up the courage to tell a couple, they turned out to be my pressure relief and at times my helpful little guides.

Murph,

wish you the best as you get help. first, recognise a few very important pluses. you have recognised a problem and are getting assessed and gettting treatment. you play hockey, which makes you part of a team and a community. you have reached out here on FHF for ideas and suggestions. all these are great steps.

as far as the results of the hockey, don't worry so much about the scores. at the end of a game, think about "what was the best save I made?", "how did I direct and encourage my defence?", and if you are still not sure of your contribution, imagine how the game would have gone if your team had no GK (all GK members please forgive me for even suggesting that Murph should imagine such heresy).

since exercise is meant to help, (it certainly helps me manage stress and mood swings in my life), you may want to think about how you can add to your fitness training regime. side benefit could be increased fitness could help your GK performance.

good luck

Murph, I can totally relate and I wish you all the best. I lost my job in 2009 and was out of work for 15 months. I am back working now and have been for some time, but this time of year in particular isn't great as it's so dark which can add to things. Whenever you can get out into the sunshine/light. I used to stay in loads but it made me much worse in hindsight. Sounds mad but the sun can really help give you get up and go. The fact you've recognised things and are being pro-active are massive positives.

I know it's very hard but try not to worry about your performances. Just go out and play. You are just one player and the results are not your fault. I nearly walked out on games too when I was at my lowest ebb (around this time of year a couple of years ago). So I know how it feels.

In the end I actually moved hockey clubs because I simply didn't care as much about the club I had been at for 10 years. There was a lot of turmoil as we'd just merged and it only added to the fact I'd lost my love of hockey. Moving turned out to be the best thing I did as my new club were totally supportive and I regained my love of hockey. Saying that neither knew about my depression, but I felt far more "looked after" and appreciated at the club I'm at now. I'm not saying you should move clubs, but if you still want to play and your current club isn't doing it for you I would consider it. I find sometimes being with strangers is easier than people you know as you're not always trying to put a "front" on too.

In time things will get better, there will be ups and downs along the way and it may be a long road, but you will be ok again.

Just the same as nearly everyone I have had my dark periods. They pass, for me, it was about getting through the day and holding tight to what I enjoyed. I found during my depression that taking pleasure in the little things pushed the clouds back. I only needed one save to make the game worthwhile or one thing going as planned at work. For me depression was about mindset.... If I woke up in the morning and thought "I feel like shite" it wasn't going to be a 'good' day but if I said "I feel great, any better, I'd be dangerous!" I'd at least get out of bed and function.
I believe you will get through this and you will be a better person for it, you will know yourself better and those friends who help you along the way, they are the gems in your life.

Sorry to hear it murph, surround yourself with the people that make you happy and can make you smile.

Not much more to say that hasn't been said, other than All the Best

Stan Collymore's article on his depression :
http://www.twitlonger.com/show/ecoqm1

Hi all.

Apologies for not responding sooner. Thank you all for your very kind comments and advice!

The doc said that exercise was the best form of treatment, but I do think that staying away from Saturday afternoons, at least the game I had, would have been better. If the rules had allowed so, with hindsight, I'd have dropped right down to our 4th team (North West Division 11 South...as low as one can go) and even played outfield!

Instead, a 300 mile round trip to lose 7-2. My head was all over the place.

Playing 2nds this week as a result...eek!

A couple of pieces of advice that were given to me for when things don't go great with the hockey:

1. If the ball has got past the other 10 guys or girls on your team, you can't always expect to prevent it going past you.

2. If every game ended 0-0 no one would bother playing or watching. Goals happen. That's fine. Bounce back and stay strong.

A little philisophical but they keep my chin up when things are looking gloomy. I hope they help, even if just a little.

Dan

Blimey I forgot about my own thread.

I've been dropped again, wahoooo! Think it's just because of being a little unreliable more than anything. That said reacted perfectly with a busy 7-0 win (I was busy...honest!)

Had my medication changed now, so the only way is up!

Hi Murph,

i'm an ex goalie and now umpire and a Doc in Clinical Psych - if you want to, please feel free to pm me. I wanted to post so that other people can read.

first of all, please know you are not alone in having depression. whether clinical, chemical or situational, at LEAST 50% of the population struggle with depression at some point in their lives. exercise does help, more than most people realise, but it doesn't take away the root cause.

secondly - please do talk to your club or someone you trust and put a plan in place. let people know what support you need. it is fine if you need a few weeks out, but if a symptom of you being in a difficult place is you going awol or being erratic in your behaviour you should let people know and let them know how best to support you. it could be a phone call if you don't turn up for training 2 weeks in a row, for example.

lastly - you may be doing this already but it might be worth considering counselling of some kind. the forum can give you lots of advice, and give some really good hockey related examples, but some neutral, dedicated time to talk about how you feel and how best to handle your own situations might help in conjunction with the meds.

you will know best what support you need or don't need. good luck with where you're at and what ever happens next.

cheers

Irene

Up your way in a couple of weeks mate. 18th Feb I think it is. Assuming I'm still in the 2nds, which I now hope I will be!

Well the new meds are being upped and upped and I'm 7 days into my new dosage and off the old tablets...and disaster has struck.

It appears that now, upon a hockey field I seem to develop some severe anger issues!

Still in the 2nds, and still enjoying it generally, but when things go wrong I turn into a mentalist (more mental than your average keeper!)